Nate Holdridge

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A Healthy Heart Before God - How To Deal With a Condemned Heart (1 John 3:19-20)

Each week throughout 2021, I will share a Bible study blog post taking us through the letter of 1 John. Only five chapters long, this brief book is worthy of our consideration. Whether you drop in for one post or many, I pray that you enjoy them. Access all posts here.

At this point in his letter, John knew his readers were ripe for feelings of condemnation. He'd written to them about believing in Jesus, obeying God, and loving other Christians. And on this last point, many might have felt terrible weakness.

They may have looked into their own lives and hearts and felt little confidence about the way they'd loved others. I think many of us can relate.

I mean, I bet no one read the last study about loving others and thought, I am nailing it when it comes to loving other Christians. Jesus laid down His life, and so do I! Nate talked about taking care of the needs of others and loving in deed and truth. Praise God. I've got that one covered!

Instead, the heart's message often sounds like this: You have hardly laid down your life for others. You have been very unloving. Remember how you treated so-and-so? Think about how you feel about him? Remember what you did to her?

And the exhortation from John, and Jesus, to love one another always resonates with us but is often complicated. Questions like these come pouring out of our minds and mouths:

  • How can I show my love?
  • Where is the time for love?
  • What about difficult people?
  • How can I love my spiritual siblings and still have time for all my regular life responsibilities?
  • How can I resolve conflict with someone else in the church?
  • What if I don't like someone?

Scripture provides answers to some of these questions. Then the Spirit comes along and leads our lives, answering more of these questions. Still, some are left unresolved. In that space, our hearts often condemn us and whisper, "You aren't doing love right."

John knew this, and he will help us by giving us God's thoughts on the matter. In our passage for the next three weeks, we will consider:

  • How to deal with a condemned heart (19-20).
  • The results of a heart free of condemnation (21-22).
  • A basic description of the uncondemned heart (23-24).

1 John 3:19 By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before Him; 20 for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and He knows everything.

Subject: Condemned Hearts

We can know (19). We can reassure our heart before Him (19). And sometimes reassurance is exactly what our heart needs. We need to know and believe we are God's children.

But, in light of John's tests, it is sometimes difficult. Do I believe Jesus? Do I obey God? Do I love God's people? These are simple tests, but they can mess with our heart (20). Because of this, John says, our heart might condemn us (20).

So how can I deal with my condemned heart? There are three things I think John wants us to say; three things I hope you'll say.

1. God Put Love in My Heart

The passage looks backward a little before it looks forward. John said, "By this we shall know..." (19). And what had come before was John's teaching on Christian love. He said we should love in deed and truth (19). He said we should not close our heart from those in need (18). He said we ought to lay down our lives for the church (17). Often, John has told us to love one another.

And, in looking back on all that, for many of us, our first response will be more condemnation. I want to love like that, we might think, but find it so hard to do so.

But this is the point: the very desire to love is evidence of God's work in our lives.

And, though none of us has loved with the infinite perfection Christ did, there have been moments. If we're honest, we can recall times when love flowed from our lives and actions. And we know, sometimes very deep within, we care for God's people. Even if our love is not ultra-evident, we know God put love in our hearts.

Parents understand this concept. When your child was born, love flooded into your heart. Something happened. You were radically altered, changed. When you looked at that little baby, you discovered love's ability to multiply.

Then, one day, fourteen years later -- or eleven or seven or four or two -- that same little baby talked back to you. Love was the last thing on your mind. And maybe you went into flesh autopilot, and anger came out of your mouth and heart. Perhaps your response was anything but love.

Then, alone, your heart begins to condemn you: What kind of parent are you? Do you even love your child?

Then you remember how something happened to you at their birth. You recall how you've, in general, laid down your life for them. Yes, of course, you love them! At that moment, you behaved unlovingly, but your heart's general trajectory is one of love.

True believers can say something similar, for it is God who put love in our hearts for others. I can recall my first months in Christ. It was an introduction to love for God's people. God put His love in my heart.

Believers know God has changed us. He's given us His love for others. Our expression of that love isn't always perfect and is often lacking, but if we're honest, when we look backward, we know it's there.

2. God Is Greater Than My Heart

But John also looks forward in the passage. He realized there would be times, even after that backward glance, our heart would still condemn us (20). Sometimes the condemnation comes because of the backward glance, as our performance isn't what it should have been.

In those times, we feel rotten about ourselves and have a hard time confessing that God put His love in our hearts. We feel, in that condemned moment, like anything but loving.

Jesus set a high standard. We want to love like Him, but His agape love is often not our practice. So our hearts condemn us.

Other translations say it well:

  • Our hearts may judge us (New International Readers Version)
  • Even if we feel guilty (New Living Translation)
  • Debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it (The Message)

The picture here is of the accused, the accuser, and a great defender. We are the accused. Our heart is the accuser. And God is our great defender. His verdict is greater than our hearts.

A friend of mine recently told a touching story about his father. When he was only a kindergartner, older boys teased him and his friends. After school, he told his dad. The next day, his dad barged into class after class until he found the boys who'd teased his son. "Don't bother my son again," he said to the bullies. His dad was a big guy, an imposing figure, and my friend was never bothered again.

God is greater than the little bully my heart can sometimes be. It terrorizes. It argues. It slings accusations at me. It punishes me with its shouts of condemnation. But God is greater than my heart. He's greater than your heart. He's greater than our hearts.

  • He's greater than our hearts because He's never wrong. Our hearts can be in error, but God is always right. What He says is always true. What our hearts say is often untrue.

    • "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9, ESV).

  • He's greater than our hearts because He's longsuffering. Our heart is often impatient with us. It wants perfection. It demands much of us. But God is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness (Exodus 34:6). He is longsuffering when our hearts aren't.

  • He's greater than our hearts because He atones. Our hearts cannot cleanse us from our sins. Self-atonement isn't possible. But God sent His Son to die for us, to make us new.

When your heart condemns you, remember God is greater than your heart. Remember the woman caught in the act of adultery. Jesus said to her, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more" (John 8:11).

Remember the woman at the well, divorced five times and cohabitating with a sixth man. Jesus told her she could drink of the Living Water and never thirst again (John 4:10, 14).

Remember the "sinful woman," likely a prostitute, and how she wept over Jesus because of her forgiveness. Jesus said her sins, which were many, were forgiven, which is why she loved Him so much (Luke 7:47).

Jesus forgave them all. If their hearts ever condemned them, their hearts would be wrong. They belonged to Jesus.

When I run, I use a running watch. Many runners use them. Conveniently, they connect to satellites and track things like pace and distance. They have become very accurate over the years. Still, there are times I've run in a dense forest or through a tunnel. In those moments, the watch's connection with GPS diminishes, and soon my readings are erratic. The watch might tell me I'm moving at a world record pace, or not moving at all when I'm merely going at my normal speed.

In those moments, I know the watch cannot tell me the truth. I cannot trust its information.

There are moments when the dense forest or dark tunnels of condemnation come upon our hearts. In those seasons, we must trust God, who is greater than our hearts.

3. God Knows More Than My Heart

Finally, in dealing with a condemned heart, there come moments when we must say, God knows more than my heart. John said it this way: God is greater than our heart, and knows everything (20).

This means God knows our secret motives and deepest resolves. God sees the true you, even when your heart cannot.

Think of how Jesus treated Peter. The night before Jesus' crucifixion, Peter denied Jesus three times. There, in the courtyard of the high priest, by a roaring fire, Peter had sworn, "I don't know the man" (Mark 14:71). And, after the rooster crowed, Peter ran out and wept bitterly. His heart condemned him. He thought, at that moment, he'd seen his true self: a failure, a backstabber, a betrayer. His heart had spoken.

But Jesus saw the true Peter. He knows everything. He is greater than our heart. So, after His resurrection, Jesus built another fire and called Peter to it. Three times, He asked Peter, "Do you love me more than these?" Peter said, "You know that I love you."

There are subtle nuances to the story, but notice this: Jesus saw something wonderful in Peter. He saw a world-changer, an evangelist, a courageous messenger for Christ. Peter's heart couldn't see those things, but Christ's could.

He told Peter:

  • Feed my lambs (John 21:15).
  • Tend my sheep (John 21:16).
  • Feed my sheep (John 21:17).

You see, God knows you better than you know yourself. He sees what you could be, what you're called to be, what you've been redeemed to become. And He also sees your truest intention, your innermost heart's desire. He sees the best intentions within you, the desires of the new nature He's placed in you. He knows everything (20).

Again, we say:

  • God put love in my heart.
  • God is greater than my heart.
  • God knows more than my heart.